Young ‘uns – Birmingham Press

I’m on the wrong side of sixty but nevertheless I accept that we live in a new world, a world where technology rules and where men are no longer supposed to be men. Indeed, it seems that masculinity is now down to how much gel a chap can spike his hair with, how often he waxes his legs (and other more intimate layers of skin, I’m told) and how much moisturiser he can get through in a week. Apparently, young shavers are now taking longer to dress than women.

The other evening, I just happened to catch this celebrity cook fellow banging on about how ‘we have had 3 natural births’ – I can’t understand what this has to do with his cooking, he should get on with the chopping and skewering if you ask me.

‘We’? I pondered.

Forgive me here, but if I’m not mistaken its usually women who have babies, but then I don’t use a mobile phone so maybe I’m missing something? I can’t be bothered with being on call twenty-four hours seven days a week and receiving daily texts insulting me – can’t say I’m bothered by the insults, I find them quite amusing to tell you the truth, that is on my email account by the way, Twitter and Facebook can all go and hang themselves; I don’t bother with these two creations of Hell either. But here’s the rub: Men have become feminised and soppy, and as for walking about with a baby strapped to my chest and a few teets sticking out of my back pocket, forget it. And as for the haircuts, well, I wonder how they can see anything at all with long strands of hair poking into their eyeballs, they just grunt in reply to a perfectly civilised question. Ignorance I call it – oh well mustn’t insult our young and intelligent youth, but you get my drift. Come to think of it, we mustn’t insult anybody these days, that is politically correct nonsense for you!

I’m old school and proud of it! I’m not so sure whether the missus is, though. She will probably shove me out into the cold if she reads this. Never mind though, I could use the rest! All the nagging and musing on my inefficiency where the shopping is concerned. Have you tried buying cheese and such like? It is a nightmare; it is never right when I trudge home in the wee small hours, this is why I try to avoid shopping at all costs!

Well, as they say, the bliss of marriage and a wonderful wife (she is wonderful really, putting up with me is an arduous task I must admit!!!)  

Nationalism – Welsh Press

Some time ago, I was giving a series of lectures on a cruise ship – I wouldn’t go on one if I had to pay for it, too many wheelchairs and so on, apart from anything else I have a strong aversion to feeling trapped by the Captain and his staff. 99% of the 800 or so passengers were Scottish, so you can imagine! Well, apart from the obvious buttonholing of my views on the referendum (which I sidestepped, I was on a Cruise after all, mustn’t offend the passengers and the like), one thing soon became clear: The Scots have no issues with their ‘identity’, indeed not once did I hear ‘I’m a Scot and proud of it!’. Makes you wonder what all this Independence is all about, doesn’t it? Devolution again!  How telling – I know I am going a bit deaf (what is new!), but I managed to hear every word, straining a bit but there we are! That is old age for you, like it or not it is creeping up on me. Wrinkles, floppy flesh etc.

Ernest Gellner wrote: Nationalism is the creation of a nation state where none before existed. And this is precisely what has been happening in Wales since devolution, particularly of the Welsh language variety. Instead of adding fibre to the Union and strengthening it, devolution has fractured and tried to undermine it. It has also been used as a weapon to ensure that ancient and outdated Welsh socialism rules forever in Wales, regardless of the norms of democratic liberty and accountability.

Nationalism is the clarion call of history’s most insidious terror. One only has to consider one of the main reasons for the first and second 20^th century World War holocausts – Nationalism.

Here in Wales, we are constantly being bombarded with a thing called ‘the Welsh Way of Life’- by the family firm, BBC Wales in particular. Having lived all over the UK (and in other parts of the world), I am still trying to work out what this nationalist fantasy is all about? As Michael Buerk, the veteran broadcaster has pointed out: ‘Wales is not a country; it’s England with an accent and a good singing voice’, oh and not forgetting our corned beef pasties and laver bread! More to the point and on a personal level, I have lived in exactly the same way in Suffolk, as I have in Wales. Now no doubt, the trolling Welsh Nats will be after my tail again, but to date I have yet to kow tow to politically correct, minority tyranny and I most certainly will not apologise for having an opinion, albeit that it may offend some people.

It is a writer’s duty to offend and that’s that. So get over it…..and this includes the Welsh speaking Crachach!

PS Pupils have record A Level results this year – well, this is always the case. The Government makes it easier and easier to pass an exam, Covid notwithstanding. One wonders why we bother with exams in the first place, in my day (admittedly I am an ‘ancient’), if you obtained a grade A you were one of a minority. How times have changed.

Birmingham – Newspapers, Midlands

Birmingham City, what a mish mash of different colours, religions and backgrounds. It is a busy city, people going everywhere and not having enough time to look at their watches.  I used to work in Corporation Street. Dealing with insolvency and employment law, what a trial that was! Sikhs, Hindus, Blacks and Whites all struggling to have their say. Thinking of this, I am reminded of a fellow I used to know. He was a right hail fellow well met sort – particularly where women were concerned, he didn’t care what they looked like, if they had a heartbeat he was in there, of a polite inclination I hasten to add! I remember he used to get chucked out of a women’s home, black bags flying through the air and what have you. Come to think of it, on one occasion a women kept the wedding ring I gave him (not to get married you understand, I am not gay). It was designed and all that nonsense. A previous marriage of mine, before all of you moralistic people get all upset and howling from the rooftops, I divorced her, on her adultery it should be said. Ever the moral high ground, that’s me!

Be that as it may, another thing that has struck me lately is all this medical nonsense about allergies and things that can bring you to death’s door (well, there is a certain case for some of them). Can’t eat nuts, can’t eat pasteurized milk, can’t eat whatever it is on the packet. Has the country gone crazy or what? In my day, I appreciate I am ‘an old one now, but we never heard anything about ‘you can’t eat this or that’! All sorts go down my throat, from mossy strawberries and out of date bananas to a chunk of pate that is beginning to turn. Probably has something to do with all the alcohol I have imbibed in my time (I am only joking!), nevertheless everyone is on about allergies etc etc You can’t go out the house without worrying about something, on second thoughts I had better take that back what with Covid going on and all the illness and death.

And another thing – dear me, I am going on a bit here, aren’t I? Have you noticed how rude some of these youngsters can be? Not all by any stretch of the imagination but some need a good kick up the backside. I was in Tipton the other day and my friend’s son, a spoilt to death lad and overweight, he had a car in the drive, all paid for by the parents and his arrogance and cheek was overwhelming. He was a bad example of how not to bring up a child.

 And on this note, I shall leave it there. See you next time!  

Too scared? – Newspapers, South Wales

Everybody seems a bit scared to say the truth, odd isn’t it? Political correctness and its incipient know-towing to rudeness etc etc. Micky Flanigan and John Bishop have got it right, haven’t they? Say what you like and to hell with annoying those people who are unable to split their sides from laughing too much! I’ll give you some amusement (well, I’ll try!) while I am at it. The Carmarthen County Council is in the dock again – as if this is anything different, I hear you ask? Shouts from the rooftops but be that as it may. Now, about roads – New Street in Kidwelly I am talking about.

Kidwelly is named after a Welsh cowboy. He liked wearing wellington’s I am told, so the story goes anyway. I hate to remind you people but a while ago, I was nearly killed by a destructive argument with a car engine. A hit and run in New Street, I was the one that was hit. I was getting out of my car and bang, that was it. Brain surgery, leg smashed up and all the rest of it. Now the thing is, the young villain got off lightly – in my book anyway, but that is not the point. Where were the speed cameras? Where was the sleepers etc etc?

It is on a stretch of road which is notorious for cars and motorbikes going at high speeds. Last night there was a motorcyclist driving around the same location trying to break the speed record at will, or so it seemed, and this was at 12.30 in the morning!!! It is just plain ridiculous. Where were the police? It has to be a heaven-sent opportunity if one sees any police cars in the area – I haven’t seen one in years, the coppers are too busy eating their custard slices at roundabouts to bother with Kidwelly. And as for the Council, well you can use your imagination what I think they are doing. Something between nothing and we shall do it tomorrow. Typical.

This Council comes in for a bit of stick and I can’t blame people for getting fed up with them. If I had my way, I would sack the lot of them (well, that is a bit extreme, but you get what I am on about). You try and ring them and see where you will get – its Welsh, Welsh and nothing but (I can’ speak a word of it, like most people!). I won’t go on about the dilapidated state of the house next door, I have been on to the Council about this for years, will they do anything? Not likely, they will not even carry out their legal obligations.

The Carmarthenshire County Council, I have better name for them but this is a family newspaper, so I had better not!!!