You just don’t listen! Star 21st August 2013

Now, how many of you men out there have heard this one?

‘You just don’t listen to a thing I say, do you. Are you deaf?’ Well, I must get this at least 5 times a day from the missus, and the truth is, I don’t listen. In fact when the missus is about, I’m stone deaf.

You go out with a pal and when you get home, it’s ‘What did you have to eat then?’ or ‘How is so and sos partner, did they enjoy their holidays?’ In fact, it’s an interrogation on a grand scale and it drives me nuts!

I mean come on. We men just don’t think like this and why? We plain ‘ain’t interested in the minutiae of life the way women are and that’s that.

How many of you men out there worry about what hat to wear to a wedding? Or for that matter what dress? (Just thought I’d be a bit ‘inclusive’ here, to keep the cross-dressers and Guardian readers happy, although no doubt the odd feminist or two will start jumping up and down about my stating a fact of life, can’t have that now can we? What, men being different from women? Don’t be silly!)

But this is the whole point, we are different and thank God for that!

Feminists would have us all believe that men and women have equal capabilities in all things. Utter nonsense. Take for example my darling wife. She can out talk me any day of the week. She can outspend me any day of the week and she can out drink me any day of the week. She is of course a damned sight more capable at most things, full stop.

So, no competition is there?

She does though, concede a lack of superiority when it comes to certain tasks eg like putting the rubbish bags out, cleaning up after our dogs’ toilet action, parking cars (funnily enough, I haven’t met a woman yet who can park a car, at least this is one thing we men can still hold dominion over!)……..

Actually upon reflection, yes I know in these PC days we are all supposed to be ‘reflecting’ about something or other – only the other day I reflected upon the damage I had done to my body by eating a jam donut – my wife really is more capable than me, as indeed are all women.

And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything!

Julian is an author, columnist, Freedom of Information campaigner and makes contributions to both Welsh and national broadcasting and media.

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