I have been to a couple of weddings recently.
Times have undoubtedly changed. Now call me old fashioned (which no doubt I am) but I’m still one of those old soaks that happens to believe that a marriage ceremony is something to be respected and treated with at least a modicum of dignity and solemnity.
I mean let’s face it, a bride and groom are making hellishly important vows to one another, albeit that things might well not work out at some time in the future. Actually, I had better mention same sex partners too, otherwise I’ll have all the PC and Guardianista brigands chasing my tail again. They’ll be making overweight folk wrap themselves up in plain paper next, you know, like a packet of fags.
By the way way, I’ve given up giving up on the fags. I just love a smoke, damn it’s the only thing that keeps me sane in our smoke free society!
Now, where was I? Oh yes, whooping and yelping young women at weddings, and not forgetting the wolf whistling. Like I say, as far as I know a marriage is supposed to be a dignified affair, at least it used to be anyway.
Plenty of champers, plenty of love and grooms (or partners for those in the civil variety) intent on committing suicide – I can’t talk, I’m on the sequel but that’s beside the point, I’m the writer here, you lot ‘ain’t. Come to think of it, have any of you wondered why we all go back for more? One romantic ding-dong ends in tears and next thing we’re after more of the same! Madness, but there we are that’s being human for you.
Anyway, and just to upset you young ‘uns out there, as far as I am concerned and this I stress is only my view, but I would fall apart with dire embarrassment if my own wedding was treated like a bun fight on some football terrace but more to the point, I would consider such antics as a profound insult to the beauty and love of my bride, a crude denigration of the solemnity of the occasion, and a ferocious assault on the general decorum of the marriage vows.
So please, all you who are inclined to whoop, yelp and wolf whistle, wait until you are outside the wedding nuptials, not inside them!
Julian is an author, columnist and political commentator on Westminster’s Labour Uncut. He is also a Freedom of Information campaigner and makes contributions to both Welsh and national broadcasting and media.