The Welsh language goes all exotic….(Column 15.5.13)

Patagonia eat your heart out! On a recent trip to the land of One Thousand And One Arabian Nights, I encountered the Welsh language  in all its glory. A restaurant which boasted some ‘Kumru’ grub, and a car hire firm calling itself ‘Rento’.

I’m serious, it was truly remarkable. The Welsh language has finally achieved global recognition!

The trip in question, was an excursion into a land that I am thinking about setting my next novel in. The missus however, in her usual cautionary way and somewhat slyly it must be said, had made sure that we had our very own ‘Plunge Pool’ in the room, without telling me. Her view being, that if I misbehaved by getting all drunk and disorderly, she would be able to throw me into the pool to sober me up. A bit extreme if you ask me, but there we are, there’s no accounting for female why’s and wherefore’s is there? I gave up on this elusive mental exercise years ago.

Anyway, while enjoying the sun and messing about on the internet, I learnt that our Carwyn became a Druid last year. How could I have missed this, I thought? Then as I dug a little deeper I discovered that the Eisteddford receives £500,000 a year tax-payer subsidy (Welshy wheels within Welshy wheels again you might think). No doubt the poor old tax-payer also pays for Carwyn’s blue robes and crown to be dry-cleaned too!

I also learnt that Betsan Powys is a Druid too– remember, she who interviewed  me a few months ago? This little episode is still being investigated in London, BBC ap Wales up to its usual tricks again. They didn’t like it when I revealed in the national press that some of their presenters and journalists have received tax-payers’ money to publish their life-stories. It could only happen in Wales, couldn’t it?

So, what can we conclude from all this druidical endeavour?

Look out all you Roman Legions (or worse, English ones!), who try and occupy Wales again I suppose. Carwyn and his Druids will see you off and if this doesn’t work then the Taffy CSP (Carwyn’s Secret Peelers) certainly will!


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