Nursing Home Farce.

I’ve got to tell you this one,it’s irresistible, I mean it’s not often one bursts out laughing in a Nursing Home after all.

My wife and I were visiting the old man in his souped up and luxurious accommodation. You know, one of those places where old ‘un’s life expectancy tends to be a bit longer than that offered by the NHS. Anyway, there he was, lying flat and looking as if he had just had his head and arms microwaved – he had apparently reacted badly to some creamy medication.

To cap it all he had run out of Special Brews and fags, so what with the cooked head, general disgust with young carers and their tattoos, well you can imagine – he’s 85, so give the old boy a break, he had never been impressed with human rights and equality etc, the only ‘human right’ he had ever believed in was his right to kick me up the arse when he felt like it.

So, there we were, feeling thoroughly ’empathetic’ and nodding oodles of sympathy, when what does my darling wife say to the old man?

‘So, you’re not feeling a 100% then?’

Jesus, I had to walk out of the room. She’s a nursing Matron too, can you believe it????!!!


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