This weekend Birmingham and Worcester have been the victims of my latest book signing extravaganza.
Before I go any further Birmingham is old turf, I lived and worked there for a good few years and even picked up a bit of Urdu and Punjabi along the way.
Anyway, I was talking with a Muslim charmer in WHS (with a bit of Urdu thrown in) about her upcoming wedding. £65,000 it was costing and we think the whities are overdoing it!
Now I knew Asian weddings could cost s few bob (the Sikh variety always has a bottle of whisky and Bacardi on every table, that’s why I rarely remember any of them!), but £65,000!
Being the usual miserable Killjoy that I am I said, “Bloody hell, and I suppose you’ve just taken out a whacking great mortgage on the matrimonial nest have you?!’
‘Oh yes,’ came the pretty reply, and she was pretty too believe me, all black eyelash, deep brown eyes and brimming with Turkish Delight – Turkish Delight? She was Pakistani, never mind, literary license and all that nonsenese. Well, there wasn’t much more I could say was there? ‘Multiculturalism’?
When it comes to matrimonial bliss, we’re all just as daft.
Once the ‘nuptials’ as it were had been disposed of, this beauty from One Thousand and One Arabian Nights asked if I spoke any Welsh, she had been to the Gower Peninsula apparently and loved it, thus the interest in my Ragged Cliffs trilogy. ‘Of course I do!’ I replied enthusiastically.
‘But it’s so hard to speak!’ She grinned.
‘No it’s not.’ I gallantly assured. ‘Just add ‘io’ to every English word and you’re there. Parkio, busio, fish and chipsio…..see what I mean?’
She bought all three of the trilogy (WHSmith are doing 3 for 2 on my books for pretty obvious reasons) and went off giggling all the way to her nuptials.